the silent music of being along

There is a power that is unlocked once you learn how to enjoy being alone and make that alone time useful. It is healthy to have alone time because you need to learn how to be comfortable with being yourself and not being defined by another person. Being comfortable with being alone allows you to know and understand what you want out of life. I truly believe it is the ultimate action of self love.

I am someone who has always valued my alone time, in fact I am someone who craves it. I enjoy driving alone, having my mornings to myself, shopping alone, working out alone, etc. But for many, alone time is something that is often feared. There is a difference in being alone and being left alone. For example living with your significant other is not you being alone but you may often crave to be left alone. You are not really alone because you live with another person, your loneliness is rather a choice. That choice is important (although maybe sometimes hard) to make.(( There is beauty in solitude and it can often be a time to recharge so you can then be an even better friend, employee, wife, girlfriend, mother and overall version of yourself.

If you are someone who struggles with being alone or maybe you view your alone time as boring rather than an opportunity for growth, I would like to offer some suggestions you can take to make your alone time more useful.

Step 1: make a list.

Take time out of your day to curate a list of things you would like to do, have always wanted to do or think may be beneficial to do when you are alone. I will share a few things on my list that I currently do or want to do when alone. Then next time you are alone choose one of the things on the list. Or even better, make the time to do something on that list once a week. Set time aside to pursue alone time rather than wait for it.

Step 2: chase after it

While suggestion number one will help open the door for you and alone time to get to know each other better, it is important that you actually make the time you do get intentional. While I would love to do these things on this list everyday, I do not always have the time to do them with work and other commitments. However, I do make sure to set aside some alone time for myself everyday even if its for 20 minutes. My favorite time to soak in solitude is the morning. No matter what time I have to be up or what I have to do that day, I always make sure to wake up with enough time to enjoy my morning and take time for myself. Whether you take time in the morning, afternoon or evening, be sure you are taking time out of your day to do one thing that brings you peace and refills your glass. I have come to find that the most effective way to free up time for myself is to have a routine I stick to and to plan ahead. Making a to do list with specific time stamps is key for me. I like to plan out exactly when I can fit in time for me.

Step 3: enjoy it

Look at your alone time as a gift. Romanticize the moments you get alone. Your alone time is a treat and it should be enjoyed throughly. For example, if your designated alone time for the day is driving into work because it is the only alone time that you can get today then ROMANTICIZE IT! Play your favorite songs in the car, break out your best sunglasses, leave a little early and treat yourself to a coffee and enjoy every sip. Use that drive and time to reflect, talk to yourself, listen to a podcast. Get in tune with yourself and soak it in. If you start to look at these moments as gifts, your mindset around them will change for the better.

Whatever you do with your time and no matter how busy you are, be sure to give yourself the grace of alone time. You can not be everything to everyone else if you aren’t showing up for yourself. One major key to your bloom year is to invest in yourself.